Learning is a journey, an endless journey. Well, I agree with this cliche
yet true sentence. But in this case, English is my concern. Now that I
reflect on my English learning journey, there is nothing that I can feel
good about nor be proud of in terms of my knowledge and grasp of the language. I
don't like to read English books, magazines or other readings materials.
In short I hate to read. Considering that my English journey started in
my primary school days, then progressed to secondary level before entering
the college, I spent almost 13 years learning, applying, practicing, and speaking the language. But sadly, I had no passion nor care for
it. Thus, I'm ashamed of myself, particularly, of my attitude towards the
language. In simple term, I had a 'bad' experience in all my English
classes.
The problem was not the teacher, classmates, classroom, the content of
study or the method used to teach the language but simply the one and only problem was Me! I could not be bothered of what my teacher
taught in class, did not capitalised on the knowledge that my teacher
was sharing or took advantage to clear my doubts of the language,
ignored the importance of each lesson(though sometime the class was very
boring) and I never put in effort to care about the lessons/skills
being taught. Even though I knew my English was bad and 'rabak', the
intention to improve only burns brightly at my heart, but my actions
were simply nothing!!! Now to think of it, I was immature that I wasted
all my English lessons instead of using them to improve my English. I was
ignorant, thinking that my English was 'not as bad as I think it is'
but in reality my English really s--k!! My attitude was undesirable and foolish for being a hypocrite towards the language. Now that I'm
here, I regretted all the time,effort,money that went into vain.
Hopefully, now that I have finally realise the importance of English, I
will not repeat my past mistakes...
At times, I feel embarrassed by how bad my knowledge of English is.
Simple spelling, grammar and vocabulary English I could get them wrong. A
serious 'reality-check' encounter was when one day my colleague said
this to me, "Ipin, you are going into University level. You need to use a
higher level of English at university...(ok, i forgot what he said word
for word so I rephrased his words here)". I know my English was bad and what he said was true. But what have I done after this realisation
to improve my English??? This has to stop. So from that day onwards, I
started a new initiative and with a renewed belief of improving my
English language...
I'm still far from my desired level of English language mastery. Though
overcoming this problem at this late stage was not ideal, at least I'm
trying to retify the problem and improve. Language needs to be
practiced and I need to start the habit of writing.
I'm very open to criticism. So if you spot any language/English errors
that I made in this post or my future posts, please feel free to comment
or blast at me!!! I will feel grateful and appreciate much of your
effort here.
Smiles,
Ipin. ^.^v
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